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TEENREADS.COM
NEWSLETTER
AOL Keyword: The Book Bag
Teenreads.com
March 22, 2001

Dear Reader,

So, how was everyone's St. Patrick's Day? Me, I spent the day in my favorite kind of personal hell --- that being third-wheel hell --- watching my best friend and her new boyfriend stare deep into each other's eyes, hold hands, giggle while frolicking and frolic while giggling, and snog while doing all of the above. The last time I had that much fun and felt that good about myself was in the seventh grade when my mother found me sitting alone in the front hall closet, eating a whole box of Girl Scout Cookies.

When my friend asked if it would be okay if Mr. Nose-with-nostrils-so-narrow-how-does-he-breathe-out-of-those-things? could hang out with us I really wanted to say: "Look, I'm in a very fragile state, what with all my friends being in irritatingly happy relationships and me living with my sister in NYC, where you are more likely to lose a limb in a freak machinery accident than meet a boy who is not a complete jerk looking to score with an androgynous fashion model and my mother telling me how she prays every night to St. Ann (of 'pray to St. Ann to find you a man' fame) that my sisters and I find nice, godly men soon because 'you're not getting any younger Sarah and I was married by the time I was your age Sarah and that hair color really doesn't suit you Sarah', not to mention the fact that the gym is crawling with all these really fit girls who never break a sweat and are always prancing lightly on the treadmill next to me while I plod along like a dying horse positive that each one of my booming foot steps reverberates throughout the whole room sending innocent exercisers flying off their Lifecycles and why do those girls come to the gym anyway? --- they already look great which is really the only reason to go to the gym and anyone who says they do it for health reasons is a liar! So, I'd really prefer if it was just us girls."

But I didn't want to come off as "the bitter friend" so instead I just said, "I don't care. Whatever."   

Now I know everyone, boys and girls alike, have spent some time in third-wheel hell. Come on, let's be bitter together. Write to me at: Babyswingster@aol.com.

IF OUR PARENTS ONLY KNEW WHO WE WERE REALLY HANGING OUT WITH...

Oh, they'd have heart attacks then send us all to one of those tough-love boot-camps for problem kids in South America .

Seems a lot of you have had --- or presently have, you poor things --- friends like Peggy Murphy (minus the big heads... guess I'm the only freak who attracts giant-headed delinquents). Of course, what these Murphy-esque friends of yours lack in cranium size, they sure make up for in bizarre and somewhat terrifying idiosyncrasies. There's an SAT word for you...idiosyncrasies are basically eccentricities or temperamental peculiarities. And if you're going to continue to have friends like the ones described in the reader submissions below, idiosyncratic is a word you should definitely learn.

"I had a friend who lied about everything! I went away on vacation with her to Ocean City, MD. It was the WORST time of my life. She yelled at me for everything and told her parents I did stuff that I didn't even do. She even stole a ring from a store. Once we got back every time she called I "Had to eat lunch or dinner" or "was just about to go out." Than it was at a party I had to face her again. She kept saying bad stuff about me really loud and threw my camera on the floor really hard...I [finally told her I] could not take it anymore...now when she sees me in school she is always super nice"
--- AutumnL1023   

"I've had several 'friends' like that. They all convinced me to cut with them just for fun. To get out we had to go to the girl's locker room and slip out the exit in the back. While we were in the locker room the gym class came in and we got stuck in the showers hoping not to get caught. There were 7 of us and somehow we got separated. My group got to Jennifer's house safely, the other group got busted by Catherine's father and had to bring him back to Jennifer's house. We all got ushered back to school by him and were given a month in detention."
--- KittieKat558

"Well, I had this one friend who always wanted to do crazy things, like throw tomatoes at houses, play ding-dong-ditch, and make voodoo dolls. She was also exceptionally loud and embarrassing, and did things like sitting on the swings after school and singing stupid songs AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS!!!!!!!!!"
--- LaDeBoBo

ENTER THE 2001 CLAUDIA ANN SEAMAN POETRY AWARD CONTEST...

Established in 1983 by the Seaman family in memory of their daughter and sister, Claudia, this contest is open to all aspiring young poets in grades 9 through 12. The winner is awarded a $500 cash prize and the chance to have his/her poem published in the literary magazine Hanging Loose. Interested? Go check out the contest guidelines.